A LETTER TO CHANCELLOR WOODSON

This letter has just been sent to all administration as well as the media by my VERY private husband...David Black.  I must tell you I have never in our 16 years seen him react this way.  We are both extremely distraught.

Chancellor Woodson,

I would like to discuss a very horrible incident that happened at the tailgate yesterday but has actually been going on for 5 years.  I finally came to a decision yesterday that it was time to act.  Pardon the length of this e-mail.  Also pardon the language but to disguise it with symbols would diminish the impact it had on us.

I will let you know of the others I have copied on this e-mail in hopes someone will help and that it will not be swept under the rug. They include Debbie Yow-Athletics Director, Bobby Purcell-Executive Director of the Wolfpack Club, Benny Suggs-Executive Director of the Alumni Association, Deb Luckadoo-Director of Staff Diversity, Morton Barlaz-Department Head of the Civil, Construction, and Environmental Engineering Department, Justine Hollingshead-former director of the GLBT Association, Barry Saunders-N&O columnist, and Sgt. Tim Hammonds-NCSU Police.

Dr. Barlaz has been my immediate supervisor for the past 18 years in the Environmental Engineering Lab of which I have been the lab manager for the past 7 years.  He does not like to be blindsided by things so I am keeping him in the loop.

Justine Hollingshead was contacted by an attorney friend of mine and Justine encouraged me to call her.  I will after this e-mail.

Barry Saunders has been my favorite columnist at the N&O for a long time.  I have shaken my head at the many stories of him being harassed simply because of the color of his skin.  I experienced something similar yesterday at the tailgate due to my being gay.

This started 4 years ago when my tailgating spot was moved from the east lot to the Arena 6000 lot so we would be closer to our seats in the Dail Club in Vaughn Towers.  It was during one of the early hot games so we decided to move to one end of the islands in the parking lot that would provide shade.  We very soon began to be harassed by the occupants of that island. They had 4 spots surrounding the island and thought we were intruding.  As published by the Athletics department these are first come first serve and are open to any one.  

We only used a few feet of the island so we were not intruding.  It became obvious pretty soon that it was not related to the island but to our being gay. There were a group of 4 of us. I will introduce the others.  My partner, and husband in certain states, Danny Taylor. Danny is 55 and owns a very successful and respected real estate company in Raleigh, DT and Company.  My friend Walter Rhodes is 64 and a 30 year retiree of the Chatham County school system.  His partner is Lynn Shearon who is 62 and is on the faculty at Wake Tech.

We are not a group of flaming queens but we began to get verbal abuse from the island people.  It came to a head a couple years back when Lynn was called a fag and told to leave. This was after his tailgate table was hit with corn hole bags.  I was not present for this incident and greatly regret not acting on it.  I did take down the tailgating parking #s but I never followed up as I did not want trouble and was not sure who would have my back.  We chose to completely avoid them for the next year or so. Even so much as walking around their area even to get to the rest rooms.

Because it was so hot yesterday, Walt and Lynn decided to set their table up at the end of their island again because it was close to our parking spot.  They put 2 chairs up on the island and their table in the parking lot drive through area.  When we arrived we put our chairs out in the lane across the table from them.  I was facing the group that was parked around the island.  I began to nice a lot of chatter among them. They were talking and looking our way.  I warned our group that something was up.

A little later one of their group walked over behind Danny, about 6 feet in front of me, faced his group, opened his mouth wide open, and then proceeded to simulate performing oral sex on his beer bottle.  He and another buddy began to laugh and high five right in front of us as they walked off.

I felt like every drop of blood had drained out of my body.  But then it began to rise to the point that I thought my head would explode.  I had had enough.  I was not going to be treated that way any more.  I got up and recorded their tailgating spots and told my group that I would start calling and e-mailing on Monday morning. 

This is where it got really bad. The ring leader of this group started yelling at me and told me to call whoever I wanted and said you know who I am.  I did not know who he was and asked him but go no response.  He then yelled you are not going to do this in front of my family and children. We asked doing what. All we had done was sit and enjoy our food and drinks.  He then got in a further argument with Walt. He lunged a Walt several times but his wife stopped him.  He told us to get the hell out of here.  He also did the limp wrist gesture.

I got away as soon as I could because I did not know what might happen. I remember not too long ago where 2 tailgaters were shot and killed over an argument.  Danny and I proceeded to Vaughan Towers thinking my friends would leave that area and go to their seats.  They did not and called the police as they felt so threatened by this group.  Four police cars did show up and they took the report. They confirmed our rights to use the island, even though that was not the issue.

I was so upset after getting to the Dail Club that I could hardly think.  I then saw one of the children in that group in the Club and was concerned that these others might be there also. So I also called the NCSU police. Sgt. Hammonds came up and we spoke for quite a while and took down a lot of information.  He was very supportive.

I have never felt so humiliated, embarrassed, ashamed and afraid as I did yesterday.  I have never been treated that way since I came out at 34. In all my years of tailgating, since 1976, I have never had any issue.  I have been treated with great respect on this campus and especially in my job at NCSU.  Everyone knows I am gay and it has never been an issue.  Several office staffers and many students attended our Holy Union ceremony at Pullen Baptist Church in 2000.  Many have been to our house for functions.

We went to Christ Episcopal Church this morning and spent a lot of time in prayer about what to do.  We were even asked to take the elements for communion to the altar during the service. I declined as I just did not think I could do it.  I felt everyone was looking at me.  After the service we went to Harris Teeter and I felt the same way.  I questioned why anyone even looked my way.  

After the game last night I sat with Walt and Lynn for along time discussing the events of the day. Danny took a taxi home in the third quarter as he just did not want to be there. While sitting behind my car someone walked past me and I jumped thinking it was someone from that group as they were about 100 ft behind me.  I don't like feeling that way.

I have attached a photo that shows the ringleader of this group. It also shows how little of the island we occupied though again that was not the real issue.  That is our ice chest in the foreground.  The tailgating parking spots are Arena East #s, 6471, 6472, 6423, and 6424 so the owners can be identified.

I do hope to hear back on some resolution to this issue.  I do not want an apology from this group as it would be forced and not genuine. I do consider these people evil as I have seen it in their eyes and even more importantly, heard it in their voice and by their actions.  I am sorry for the younger people that were in their group that had to see how their family acted but I had not control over that.

Danny is heavily involved in social media.  He has already put this story out with the photo last night and has got great response.  He will also be putting this e-mail out.  He has about 1385 followers on his Facebook personal page, over 1500 on his business page, over 1400 on his Just Ask DT group page.  He also gets over 15,000 hits a month on his Just Ask DT blog.  This e-mail will be posted on all these sites in hopes something will happen.

I am a peace loving man and hate confrontation but I have had enough and I am fired up.   Now I hope I can get some sleep tonight as there was very little last night.

Thank you all for your time and I look forward to continued support from this University that I love so much.

David Black